Seasonal Living
Life happens in seasons- so don’t beat yourself up for not always being an overachiever. The seasons of life are productivity, enjoying the fruits of your labor, reflection, and supporting others. Listen to see what season you’re in and how you can prepare for the next season!
Being that I just came back from a break- I think it's only fitting that I talk about seasonal living! High achievers like myself can sometimes be too hard on themselves if things don't always go as planned. I don't consider myself a perfectionist, but I like things to go my way. Realizing that life happens in seasons was the biggest game changer for me.
Every day, section, and stage of my life shouldn't be the same. Just like athletes take breaks and play “in season” and take breaks for “off season” you should too. Our lives are multidimensional and the sooner you realize that the happier you'll be, and on your way to becoming a better baddie.
Different phases of life:
Productivity or Busy
Some parts of our lives require work- because of the obvious reason- life is work. This can look like you pursuing fitness goals, working on your podcast, recording BBLs for Instagram, taking pictures and videos, reading books, etc. You on the grizzy. You feel either good during this time because you know there’s going to be a bomb outcome, or conversely, you could feel like crap because you’re simply trying to make it through the day.
Productive vs Busy- I think this distinction is important to make because sometimes you’ll be doing things for no reason- that my friend is called being busy. I found these wonderful distinctions from the Digitial Marketing Institue:
Being busy is frantic while being productive is focused.
Being busy is fueled by perfectionism while being productive is fueled by purpose.
Being busy is about working harder while being productive is about working smarter.
Being busy is about being good at everything while being productive is about being great at a few important things.
Nonetheless, I prefer you to be productive over busy because you will be more satisfied with that season of your life.
Enjoying the fruits of your labor
In this phase, you don't need to be doing anything. You've hit your goals and enjoy it! Celebrate yourself! So many times we don't celebrate ourselves and make a big deal out of ourselves but lemme yell you- you're a huge deal! When I bought a house, I knew I was buying a house. I knew my credit was A1, I felt confident in my house choice, and I knew all my transfers would be complete- so for that reason, I didn't make a huge deal out of it. It wasn't unbelievable, so I didn't feel the need to make a big deal out of it. But I was so wrong. There aren't that many young black women in place to buy a home, so that was definitely an accomplishment that I didn't make a huge deal out of. I think it also lends to the fact that I don't do things for external validation. Nonetheless, I think this speaks to a larger phenomenon. We- specifically black women- do not celebrate ourselves enough because we not think we're a big deal because we did what we were supposed to do or the right thing.
Reflection/Learning
Some phases in life are reserved for you to grow and reflect. Not even “build”, but take in information and reflect on the past. Like this is just thinking abou t what you did in the past, evalautating that, thinking about the future, writing plans. This is the season of life where I feel lazy. I’m eager to do things, but I know I need to think and reflect before moving. It brings me back to when I was in the thick of job hunting this past year. After so many rejctions and ghosting, I actively stopped. I’m a firm believer in what is for you is for you and what isnt just isn’t. If I was not having any luck with jobs- knowing my qualiifcatins and all the steps I took to network- I felt like it wasn’t the right time anymore. So I stopped to reflect on what I really wanted in the next step of my career. Did I want to tech girlie? What were my ultimate long term goals? Did I want to grow in my current role? Did I want to move to another state? There were thoughts that needed to be had, and I had them. People around me that knew I was looking for a job would keep asking if anything came up- and had to tell them I wasn’t looking anymore. After reflecting I was able to clarify my goals and not just doing things to keep BUSY!
Supporting Others
Yes, there will be moments when everyone else around you is winning and you may feel like you’re not. If the roles were reversed- what would you want your friends to do? Was that a “support me” and “clap for me”? Oh okay. I thought so! Having people recogize your accomplishments and hard work releases dopamine- so yes the people in your life love it. Also, this is helping you grow and maintain your village- which is absolutely necessary for survival!
Sometimes I feel like people don’t clap for me, there's no need for me to clap for them! But I came to the realization that I can’t let other people stop my blessings. So if you put in the work- and you deserve a clapping- you’’ get it!
Now, what does supporting others mean?
Do you see a friend starting a new diet? Congratulate them. Let them know you notice and try to keep them on track!
Do you hear a friend talking about a business they want to start? Send them positive energy and support their idea!
Listening to a friend vent. I’m so confused about why listening to a friend is emotional labor that nobody wants to do. Like…what? Ima vent. And if you need to vent- please vent! A relationship requires an emotional bond- why would I not want to listen to my friend and help her navigate through life?
So there we have it- the four seasons of life. All baddies go through them, I believe they’re cyclical, and there is no time frame.
