Is Imposter syndrome real?

Written By Qui T

I remember sitting in my classroom during the 1st year at my PWI and not feeling as smart as the white kids in the classroom. I wasn’t used to studying and actually being engaged in a discussion about the text and having an opinion on it. So after like a month of adjusting- I remember starting to read, highlight, and study more so that I felt more confident speaking out loud in the classroom. But as I became more aware and confident in the classroom- I realized that I was just as if not smarter than so many other students. That realization in college was a turning point for me in life. Walking in the college- the only difference between me and my peers was practice. They had more practice in a classroom setting than I did. That's it. Once I got the practice- I was good sis. 

I learned what imposter syndrome is a few years ago- and it made sense. People moving into new settings and doubting themselves yes! When I start my podcast- major imposter syndrome. I thought, “Who am I to get on a microphone and share my experiences like they are valuable?” When I started posting more on IG I thought, “People are going to judge me because my makeup isn’t perfect like all the other influencer girlies” But I did it. I did it anyway. Because ultimately who cares what other people think? If you wait until things are perfect, or you feel 100% prepared before tackling a new task all the time- you’ll never do it. 


What is imposter syndrome? Let's talk history. 

Originally termed the “imposter phenomenon,” by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978- it has come to affect 70% of adults at least once in their lives. The theory said high achieving young women had the “internal experience” of feeling like an intellectual phony. Later Clance had to recount her conclusion from the study because there wasn’t strong evidence supporting the claim that only women felt imposter syndrome. But if you are a woman- there's a great chance you’ve sat through a “How to Combat Imposter Syndrome” seminar. 

Now, this is not a diagnosable syndrome that requires treatment of any sort, but it is a large-scale cultural phenomenon. Is it rooted in sexism? Yes. Is it rooted in capitalism? Absolutely. It's another thing that people need to overcome to reach their full potential. 


So here's a list of factors that imposter syndrome can be related to:

  • Family expectations

  • Overprotective parent(s) or legal guardian(s)

  • Graduate-level coursework

  • Racial identities

  • Attribution style

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Low trait self-esteem

  • Perfectionism

  • Excessive self-monitoring, with an emphasis on self-worth


There are actually imposter syndrome archetypes! (from healthline.com)

The Perfectionist

You focus primarily on how you do things, often to the point where you demand perfection of yourself in every aspect of life. Yet, since perfection isn’t always a realistic goal, you can’t meet these standards. Instead of acknowledging the hard work you’ve put in after completing a task, you might criticize yourself for small mistakes and feel ashamed of your “failure.” You might even avoid trying new things if you believe you can’t do them perfectly the first time.

The Natural Genius

You’ve spent your life picking up new skills with little effort and believe you should understand new material and processes right away.Your belief that competent people can handle anything with little difficulty leads you to feel like a fraud when you have a hard time. If something doesn’t come easily to you, or you fail to succeed on your first try, you might feel ashamed and embarrassed.

The Soloist

You believe you should be able to handle everything solo. If you can’t achieve success independently, you consider yourself unworthy. Asking someone for help, or accepting support when it’s offered, doesn’t just mean failing your own high standards. It also means admitting your inadequacies and showing yourself as a failure.

The Expert

Before you can consider your work a success, you want to learn everything there is to know on the topic. You might spend so much time pursuing your quest for more information that you end up having to devote more time to your main task. Since you believe you should have all the answers, you might consider yourself a fraud or failure when you can’t answer a question or encounter some knowledge you previously missed.

The Superhero

You link competence to your ability to succeed in every role you hold: student, friend, employee, or parent. Failing to successfully navigate the demands of these roles simply proves, in your opinion, your inadequacy. To succeed, then, you push yourself to the limit, expending as much energy as possible in every role. Still, even this maximum effort may not resolve your imposter feelings. You might think, “I should be able to do more,” or “This should be easier.”

The Funny Thing Is…

What I find hilarious is that imposters never get imposters syndrome. If you watched “Becoming Anna” or “The Tinder Swindler” they never presented a sense of doubt. The air of confidence and high self-esteem they projected created a security blanket. The people around them could not believe that they were not real because the imposters set it up that way. 

Also- Not everyone is a secret genius and their insecurity is covering it up. Some people are actually just very unqualified. But the unqualified people never think they are imposters- isn’t it strange how that works? 

But at its core- its anxiety. Everyone feels anxiety. Feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. Especially when you’re around other smart, beautiful, and ambitious people. So in a sense- the fact that you think you’re a fraud is all the reason to think you’re not a fraud. 

Everyone has to enter a new phase of life where they have absolutely no idea what they’re doing, so they pretend. Do you think parents coming home with a baby from the hospital feel like parents? They fake it till they make it. Nobody is what they are until they believe they are. I could give you the steps to overcome imposter syndrome, but you probably won’t like my advice. My advice is to get over it. You won’t be the first and you aren’t the last. But if you keep putting off your happiness because you’re afraid of what others will think of you- then you probably shouldn’t do it. One of my favorite sayings is “Do it scared”. And you should- especially if it isn’t life-threatening. 

One of the biggest ways to get over your imposter syndrome is to talk to people who you deem as successful, about their experience with feeling like an imposter. But that’s you waiting to resolve your issues on someone else's time. Here are three tips from one baddie to another on how to get over yourself- because it's really you against you. 


Three Ways to Get Over Imposter Syndrome

Failure is normal

You will fail in life. Failure is a learning opportunity- but if you don’t see it that way, you’ll always reject failure. Normalize it and use it to your advantage. I argue that the majority of us experience “impostery” during moments- not for our entire lives. When we feel challenged in some way- technically we are not yet a person that can feat that challenge.

Be honest and ask questions

Nobody is perfect, nobody knows it all, and that's okay. Also- it's okay to have a little anxiety and be nervous. From an evolutionary standpoint- anxiety functions to help us avoid harmful situations- eating rotten food, getting in a car with a stranger, or gambling too much. We’ve been socialized to feel like asking for help or not knowing it all is a sign of weakness- especially if your formal education in the classroom discouraged you from collaborating with peers. Asking clarifying questions is never the wrong thing to do because we all come from different backgrounds and experiences- so it only makes sense to make sure you’re on the same page as others. 

Feelings aren’t facts

You aren’t the only person that feels emotion. I’m not the only person that feels emotion. All of us on this earth do. But we tend to centralize our own emotions (rightfully so), but so much so that we allow our emotions to triumph over logic. That’s why people we catching COVID when they could have avoided it, we stay with the wrong partner for too long, why we don’t apply for the job that we are more than qualified for. In this case of imposter syndrome, you need to understand that facts cannot be disputed. If you have the lived experience, the education, the training, the skillset, the determination, or whatever you need to do, and that is a fact- your feelings about it don’t matter. It’s you letting your inner critic stay on the standup stage too long. 



Anywho, time to wrap it up! I’m leaving you with 1 reflection question.

Journal Question: “What limiting belief is holding you back?”

Listen to the podcast episode here:

Qui T
Previous

drop the deadweight

Next

interracial Dating